


Perfect, No Matter What

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgardian Tony Stark, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Insecure Tony, Insecurity, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki is a good boyfriend, M/M, Pain, Poor Tony, Scars, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 17:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18473701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: When Loki heard about the explosion in the Royal Smithy, he’d felt nothing but pure and utter panic. Twelve of the best smiths worked there, and he hadn’t cared about anyone save Anthony.





	Perfect, No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rennix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennix/gifts).



> Soooo Rennix asked me: _can we pls have more disfigured tony/ ~~tony wearing loki's clothes~~_ and I was kind of in the middle of a writing challenge and I may have totally got three ideas out of that and wrote them all. Heh.
> 
> I hope you like what I did with your request, dear Rennix! ♥
> 
> (And if anyone is wondering, I did do the clothes sharing one too which is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593653) as well as another injured!Tony one [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845347).)

When Loki heard the news, his heart dropped to his boots.

He had only been courting Anthony for a little over a month, but he’d been friends with Anthony for years, and had loved him for just as long.

Anthony was kind, handsome, funny, intelligent and far, far too perfect for Loki. Yet, the weaponsmith loved Loki all the same. 

He didn’t care about Loki’s reputation for being cold and callous or using a woman’s art. He laughed at Loki’s jokes, applauded his magic, and he kissed Loki like he was the only one in the world Anthony could want.

Loki had been so thrilled when they started to court. Anthony had caught him staring too long, too wistfully and with too much affection, but instead of being uncomfortable or unhappy, he’d kissed Loki.

Everything had been so _perfect_. 

But, when Loki heard about the explosion in the Royal Smithy, he’d felt nothing but pure and utter panic. Twelve of the best smiths worked there, and he hadn’t cared about anyone save Anthony.

He’d rushed to the healing rooms where smith after smith were being taken in, and as he waited with his heart hammering and fear curling low and sick in his stomach, he heard what had happened; a child of a patron had managed to sneak into the smithy while his father was out front. 

He’d knocked something volatile into the flames and before anyone could react, there was an explosion.

Yet, as more reports trickled in and as a crying, but unharmed child was brought in, the final piece of truth slipped through; _one_ person had reacted. A single smith had been near and had been able to not only protect the child but keep most of the blast contained.

Anthony.

When he was finally brought in, he was unconscious and littered in burned clothing and skin. Loki had made a sound in the back of his throat, but he’d only seen Anthony for half a moment, barely enough before Anthony was whisked away and Loki was ordered to stay outside with the other spectators.

Loki might have been a prince, but even he could not overrule the healers in the midst of their duty. He was forced to wait with dozens of other spouses and friends, hoping for any news on their loved ones.

He waited for hours, long after all the other smiths had either walked out of the healing chambers or been admitted for a night. The child left with barely a scratch and the hunched shoulders of the severely reprimanded. Loki barely spared anyone a glance, his hands were wringing as he stared at the doors, waiting for any news.

Finally, after what felt an age, one of the healers stepped into the room and gestured Loki over. He rushed to their side.

“He was badly injured,” the healer told him in a quiet voice, and Loki couldn’t keep the anguish from his face. “We have done what we can, but he will scar.”

“Can I see him?” Loki asked, his words more a plea than an order.

Her face softened and she nodded. Loki had never been more grateful for the public knowledge of their courtship. She led him into the room where Anthony was recovering. He was not the only smith confined to a bed, but he was by far the worst; much of his hair had been burnt away, he had bandages over half of his face as well as his neck, shoulder, back and arm. 

Loki made a pained noise and rushed to Anthony’s side. The smith was still unconscious and he hesitated before placing his hand over Anthony’s uninjured one. He bent down and pressed his lips in a kiss over Anthony’s right eye on the uninjured side of his face.

“Oh, Anthony,” he whispered, his heart aching for the other man.

The healer had stood a polite distance back, but she quietly insisted, “I can let you stay a few minutes, but no more, Prince Loki. Howardson needs constant tending, and we cannot have you by his side.”

Loki hated it, but he understood and nodded his agreement to the stipulation. He didn’t look away from Anthony, but he heard her quiet footsteps retreat, giving him a few minutes with the other man. Loki brought up his hand and gently stroked his lover’s cheek. 

He wished there was something he could do, but Loki was no healer, and burns were one of the hardest injuries to heal.

“I am so glad you are alive,” Loki whispered, his voice trembling with emotion as he kissed Anthony’s forehead again. “I would be lost without you by my side.” He closed his eyes and whispered the words he’d never yet confessed to the other man, “I love you, my Anthony.”

And even though Anthony could not respond, lost as he was to his healing sleep, Loki felt all the better for finally saying them.

Now, he just needed Anthony to wake up and flash him a smile, and then everything would be alright.

* * *

When Loki returned the next day (after a restless night sleep, waking with a gasp and the terror that Anthony hadn’t survived) he’d been greeted by the same healer who told him with sadness and apology that while Anthony was awake, he didn’t want any visitors.

It had hurt. Sending a lance of pain through his heart, but he refused to accept or believe it.

“Tell him that I want to see him, specify that it’s me.”

The healer’s eyes were gentle and sad. “He has requested no visitors, Prince Loki.”

“I don’t care,” Loki insisted. “Tell him that I expect to see him and if he doesn’t know my stubbornness by now, then he is not fit to call himself my friend.”

The healer still looked uncertain but she nodded and disappeared inside. Loki tried not to shift on his feet as he waited. There was a small part of him that feared Anthony still sending him away. He was Anthony’s friend and _lover_ , and there was nowhere Loki wanted to be than by Anthony’s bedside, holding his hand and supporting his recovery.

Thankfully, his fear was unfounded as the healer was soon gesturing him to follow her to Anthony’s bed. He found Anthony sitting up, and as bandaged as the day before. Loki rushed to his side, using magic to pull a nearby stool over for him to sit on. He went to grab Anthony’s hand but the other man jerked away.

Loki froze, his hands in the air and his eyes pools of concern. He glanced down at the hand which he thought was uninjured. But then, perhaps it was mere sensitivity, or a natural reaction after injury? Loki knew he flinched at any touch after a battle.

Perhaps, he shouldn’t have presumed Anthony would be _ready_ to accept a touch after what had occurred. He lowered his hands to the bedding, not touching but staying within easy reach should Anthony change his mind. 

“I, ah, should have known you’d force your way in here,” Anthony said, trying to make a joke, but his tone was awkward and pained.

Loki tried not to let his sorrow at Anthony’s suffering show. He knew Anthony was trying to lighten the mood, but he couldn’t joke about such a matter. “There is very little that can keep me from where I want to be, Anthony.”

Anthony’s eyes raised from where they’d been staring at the bedding. A very small smile caught at his mouth. It must have hurt, the motion pulling on the wounds beneath his bandages, as he soon winced. Loki moved to touch his hand again, but stopped, unsure if he would be welcome. 

Anthony noticed the movement and although he hesitated, he reached out for Loki’s hand and curled his fingers around it. Loki instantly shifted so he could press their palms together and link their fingers.

It was just a small touch, but Loki felt himself begin to relax; Anthony was alive, on the road to recovery and holding his hand, that meant, everything would be okay.

* * *

Loki visited Anthony every day. 

He would have stayed _all_ day and slept beside Anthony at night, but he still had duties at the palace. Anthony encouraged him to leave, told him he would be fine. Loki made sure to bring Anthony books, and things to occupy his mind while Loki wasn’t there.

Anthony always held Loki’s hand, but it was the only thing he would allow. When Loki went to brush a kiss to his temple, Anthony would jerk away and refuse to hold Loki’s eyes. It hurt, but Anthony’s comfort was more important. He settled for kissing Anthony’s hand instead. He hoped that once Anthony was home, he would be able to relax and accept Loki’s touch without flinching.

He remained with the healers for a week. When the healers told them Anthony would be allowed to leave the following morning, Loki had brightened and thanked them. He’d turned to Anthony with a wide smile, but Anthony looked pale and his lips were a thin line.

But, when he’d asked, Anthony had changed the subject, speaking about the latest book Loki had brought him. Perhaps he should have insisted and refused to let the conversation drop without learning what was wrong. But Anthony had been through so much, Loki didn’t want to do anything to make it worse.

He just wanted to see Anthony smile again.

Loki arrived the morning of Anthony's release with excitement and relief. He’d spoken with his mother and been allowed a day free of duties. He would be able to spend the day with Anthony, helping and taking care of him. 

He knew Anthony might rebuff the attempts at first (he never had enjoyed being forced to sit back while others did the work) but Loki would make him see sense. He would also, if need be, _ask_ that Anthony let Loki take care of him. Anthony always did soften if he knew his actions would make Loki happy.

Yet, when Loki arrived at the healers it was to find he was too late.

“Howardson has left,” the healer told him, her expression apologetic. “He refused to wait.”

Loki scowled and muttered under his breath, “Stubborn fool.” He would have left instantly, but he paused long enough to give a respectful nod to the healer. “Thank you for all that you have done for him. You have my deepest gratitude.”

The healer finally smiled. “It is our job, Prince Loki. Now, it is yours to look after your partner.” Loki nodded, taking the role seriously. “You will do well with him," she continued. "We can always tell those who will be good for their partner.”

The approval was unexpected and Loki blinked in surprise, but the healer was already turning away and leaving him alone. Something warm and pleased flooded his heart. He was so often the one who _no one_ approved of; there was never a kind word to say, instead, the Aesir believed any situation could only be improved by Loki being absent.

Yet, the _healers_ thought he would be good for Anthony.

Loki’s smile was small but thrilled even as he teleported from the healing rooms to Anthony’s home. It was a modest house with a small garden and a personal smithy attached. Loki knew it as well as his own chambers. He had spent nights and days in Anthony’s home and, more recently, in Anthony’s bed.

It was why he didn’t knock, he merely opened the door and called, “Anthony?”

There was no response and he shut the door and stepped inside. He headed for Anthony’s room, hoping the weaponsmith had enough sense to rest rather than put his injured body through more stress.

“Anthony?” he called again, reaching for the door, only to find it locked. He looked down at the handle with bewilderment. “Anthony? Why did you lock-”

“The bandages are off, Loki,” Anthony said, his voice sounding exhausted and _defeated_. 

Loki’s heart _ached_. Oh, he’d known there would be scarring, the healers had made that obvious, but the sound of Anthony’s voice so broken and pained, Loki just wanted to wrap Anthony in his arms and never let him go.

He pressed his forehead against the door, wishing he could press it to Anthony’s. What could he say? There were no words of comfort that could remove Anthony’s pain or his injuries. All Loki could offer was his touch and his love, and Anthony was already flinching from the former.

Loki was so close to the door, he could hear Anthony let out a hitched breath, it was almost a sob. 

“ _Anthony_ ,” Loki’s voice couldn't hide his sorrow.

“Gods, Loki,” the other man whispered, “just leave.”

Loki hated the sadness in his lover’s voice. “Anthony. I’m not going anywhere. Let me inside.”

There was a long silence before Anthony whispered, “No.”

Loki’s heart fell. “Please don’t push me away, Anthony.”

“Why?” Anthony gave a horrible, bitter laugh. “The bandages are gone and you… you won’t… I’m not…”

Suddenly, Loki understood what had been happening, not just now but from the start.

“Anthony, Anthony _no_. I do not care. I could not have cared if they covered you. I only care that you are _alive_.”

“You can’t know that,” Anthony’s voice was raw. “You haven’t seen. I… I don’t _want_ you to see. I want you to remember me how I… how I was.”

“Anthony,” Loki’s voice was a plea. “I swear to you, this changes nothing. My feelings and my attraction to you will never waver. Please, let me inside and I will show it to you.”

There was a long silence, but Loki’s heart leapt when he heard the sound of Anthony shuffling closer. He didn’t unlock the door, but his voice was closer, as if he too was leaning against the wood of the door that separated them.

“You’re my beautiful, perfect prince,” Anthony whispered. “You were always too good for me.”

“ _Never_ ,” Loki instantly argued. “ _You_ are too good for me, and I thank the Norns every day that I was the one so lucky as to win your affection.”

Anthony gave a weak chuckle. “I would have spent eternity with you-”

“You still _can_ ,” Loki firmly insisted. “Let me in, let me hold you, let me kiss you and assure you that I-”

“I will let you in,” Anthony murmured and Loki’s breath caught, hope and relief fluttering in his breast. “But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” Loki swore.

There was a pause before; “You’ll close your eyes and only open them when I say you can. And,” he heard Anthony’s swallow, “you’ll let me kiss you.”

Loki hated the condition and the agony Anthony must be feeling. The lack of trust would have hurt at any other time, but he couldn’t fault Anthony his fear. He had been hurt physically and emotionally. Loki would not blame Anthony for his insecurity in their relationship. 

Instead, Loki would prove that his concerns were _unfounded_.

It was why Loki moved back from the door so that Anthony could open it and closed his eyes. “You have it. I vow to do as you ask. You may open the door assured of my honesty.”

Loki waited, but it took less than a minute before the door cautiously creaked open. Loki clenched his fists with the urge to _look_ and _touch_ and _hold_ , but he kept his promise. He didn’t open his eyes. He was so attuned to the sound of Anthony that he felt him drawing closer.

He startled minutely when Anthony’s fingers brushed his cheek, but he instantly relaxed into the touch and leant towards it. Anthony’s fingers caressed the entirety of his face; over his forehead, down his nose, over his lips. There was a not a single place that didn’t receive a reverent exploration.

When Anthony moved close enough for their bodies to touch, Loki was already leaning down. Their lips brushed and Loki let out a soft noise. He started to raise his hands but stopped, just before touching Anthony, afraid to make him pull away. Anthony, obviously having been watching, caught Loki’s hands with his own, linking their fingers.

Their lips brushed softly and it was the same as always, but even if his lips had been scarred, Loki would not have felt any less happiness or love at embracing the man he adored.

The kiss remained soft and chaste, and when Anthony pulled away, Loki tried to trail after him, but Anthony didn’t let him reconnect their lips. He also didn’t let their foreheads rest together, a position they often took after a kiss.

It was hard not to open his eyes, but he kept them shut, not wanting to break his promise. 

“I wish we could do this forever,” Anthony whispered. He unlinked one hand and brought his fingertips to Loki’s eyes. “I wish I could hide this. I wish you could conjure an illusion and never see what lies beneath.”

“I do not _want_ an illusion,” Loki swore. He squeezed Anthony’s hand. “I want _you_.”

The back of Anthony’s hand stroked his cheek. “When that changes, I will understand, my Prince.” Loki made a pained noise, but Anthony ignored it to say with sorrow and resignation, “You may open your eyes, my dearest one.”

Loki opened his eyes and _finally_ saw Anthony, and the sight of him shot agony through Loki’s heart. His hair that he styled so artfully was missing in many places, and from his right temple all the way down to his jaw and over half of his cheek there was thick red and white scarring. It travelled down the side and back of neck, over his shoulder and down the back of his arm. Loki had seen the bandages, he knew it would cover a fair portion of Anthony’s back as well.

His lover’s expression was full of remorse and heartache. He looked defeated; already believing he had lost Loki.

But, Loki had known there would be scarring, and to him, Anthony was no less beautiful.

“My Anthony,” Loki whispered. He raised his hand and ran the back of his knuckles over Anthony’s cheek, brushing smooth skin and fresh scarring. “I love you no less than I always have.”

Loki didn’t realise what he’d said, not until Anthony jolted and looked at him with wide eyes. 

“What?” Anthony whispered.

Loki ran the words through his mind and felt his cheeks heating in a blush. He’d never admitted the depth of his feelings, at least, not where Anthony could hear it. But, it didn’t change the truth, and despite embarrassment and nerves making his heart pound, he still confirmed it.

“I love you,” Loki said. “I always have, and I always will.”

Anthony’s expression it suddenly _brightened_ , his brown eyes shifted from desolate to delight and his lips finally drew up into the smile Loki had missed so dreadfully. “I love you too, Loki.”

Loki’s heart raced and he grinned. He also cupped Anthony’s cheeks and drew him into a kiss. Anthony relaxed into the embrace and kissed him with the same enthusiasm and affection that normally infused his touch and their relationship.

It was perfect, for a few blissful minutes it was _wonderful_ , but then Loki’s hands had slid down to Anthony’s neck and the other man jerked and broke the kiss. He averted his eyes and face, looking away until only the uninjured side was showing.

“Anthony?” Loki asked, concern in his voice. “Are you in pain? Is your skin sensitive? Is-”

“No,” Anthony answered. “It’s not… but, I,” he raised his eyes, sadness back in his gaze, “it’s…”

And even though his sentences weren’t completed, Loki understood. He wrapped his arms around Anthony and pulled him close, only relaxing when Anthony hugged him back. After all, it wasn’t just Loki who needed to accept the scars, Anthony needed to do it too. 

“We will take as long as is needed,” Loki promised him. He pressed a kiss to Anthony’s head, over one of the spots where hair was missing. “I am not going anywhere, Anthony.”

Anthony shifted until his face was pressed against Loki’s neck. He could feel the trembling kiss that Anthony placed there and the dampness as Anthony tried and failed to hold in tears. Loki just softly rubbed Anthony’s back and pressed more kisses to Anthony’s head.

When Anthony started to shake and his body became wracked with stronger sobs, Loki made hushing sounds while repeating ‘ _I’m here_ ’ and ‘ _I love you_ ’ over and over until his lover would believe it. 

Loki knew it would take time for Anthony to accept Loki’s words and to fully heal, but Loki did not care how long it took. Loki had all the time in the world and he would offer every minute of it to Anthony.

**Author's Note:**

> And even though it takes time, Anthony comes to accept his scars and to accept Loki loves him regardless and will tenderly kiss Anthony's scarred skin just as often and lovingly as the rest :D
> 
> And on a different note because, it has to be said:
> 
> In this universe, when Loki finds out he's jotun? One of the best arguments Tony will have is: "You loved me despite this." Gestures at his scars. "What makes you think I won't love you?"
> 
> And Loki desperately wants to argue but he has... nothing. Not a single thing because every argument would be something Tony tried on him and he defeated. Tony will do the same, and prove their love is enduring.
> 
> So he sobs and reaches out for Anthony and Anthony holds him tightly and in a mirror image of the past, he whispers, " _I'm here_ " and " _I love you_ ". Until Loki is able to believe it. :)


End file.
